Just Desserts

You've heard of death by chocolate....
now prepare for Mortality by Meringue! But what a way to go....

Last Saturday found us both in the nest of the Legal Eagle and her Beau.
A delicious sherried chicken took care of the protein intake, but the Eagle is famous for her puds.This meal had one which approached perfection in its simplicity...

First take a Snowdon-sized mountain of fresh summer fruits



Then produce a veritable home made Mount Fuji of meringues, light, crunchy and irresistibly chewy in the middle...



Serve in good sized bowls, with cream or ice-cream (or Both!)



After dinner and its badinage, there was nothing else to do but indulge in a little light bondage bandage. Mrs P had an exam coming up and needed some willing victims for First Aid practice.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Sadly this is the only photo I managed to take that wasn't too blurred by the laughter-shake.

We leave you with



"Beau Brummel, or Pudsey's Revenge"...

Mrs Phantom's Garden Corner...

Good evening, and welcome to the first in an occasional series. I've left the Phantom in the kitchen, and have come into my domain.

I won't pretend to be an exceptional gardener; our garden is still very much a work in progress. But it is a place of sanctuary, a place to lose oneself mentally, if not physically...

Our great friend the Legal Eagle asked what she could do to counter the slugs and snails that have been happily munching through her Lupins.

As usual in life, there are no perfect solutions to the problems these irritating molluscs create. (The slugs I mean, not the Legal Eagle and her Beau). But at Phantom Towers we have come up with a couple of good techniques for reducing the damage they cause.


The stuff in the box is something we have tried for the first time this year. It's an absorbent ceramic in a gravel-like form.

[CUE PACK SHOT]



[No, This blog is not being sponsored]



It works by the fact that it is both very rough and highly absorbent. It doesn't kill the critturs, but they sure as heck don't like going over it. I guess it's a sort of commercial version of the old idea of putting down crushed eggshells.

You simply surround you vulnerable seedlings and plants...



In this case Mangetout Peas. So far we haven't lost one..

And here it's protecting a young Hosta...





The other weapon in our war was also featured in the photo above. Let's zoom in..



Yup! It's the trowel. If you look carefully you will see the lower edge is serrated. That's for cutting the slugs in half... Snails can be picked up by hand, or you can use the extra leverage provided by flipping the snails on the trowel to make sure they travel into the next garden but one. Or you can just smash the little B****RS with the flat bit.

I'm afraid I didn't get the name "She Who Gardens At Night" by pruning in the dark. You go out with a torch and a trowel, and exact pro-active revenge on the slugs and snails who would turn your Hostas into lacework and your salads into breakfast.

Sorry for any sensitive folk, but the Gardening Phantom has her priorities worked out....

Barbecue 2 - Putting my blog where my mouth is!

Many apologies to everyone out there muttering "he's gone walkabout again"! Especial apologies to Welsh Dog, the Legal Eagle (and Beau), the Erdington Lurker, and most of all, to Amalee.

In case you haven't read her comment below, Amalee was facing going "to a barbeque party where the food will be kinda ok and the drinks a bit ropey". She was looking to me for inspiration, and I let her down...

I have been mad busy; happy and healthy, but busy.

There will be more of what I have been up to later, but, with no more ado, to the food.

The hot weather of the last few days has indeed found me re-acquiring the title I earned some years ago from a neighbour - The Man Who Cooks In the Garden. ***

Last Autumn we bought a lovely gas fired barbie. (Not having to wait 45 minutes to get to cooking heat makes a huge difference.)

A few of our recent dishes...

Pork Spare Ribs, Chinese Style

Chicken Kebabs (a working afternoon in my Mum's garden)

I have developed an all-purpose basic marinade that I can put together in two minutes flat. I shall demonstrate with this handy boned shoulder of lamb I have adjacent to the keyboard...


Get your friendly butcher to bone a shoulder of lamb for you. If you don't have a friendly butcher, find a butcher and smile. It may work. A whole shoulder of lamb will do kebabs for six people easily. I froze half the shoulder for later.

Ingredients for the marinade : two or three tablespoons plain yoghourt, the same of curry paste (Pataks are good), two crushed cloves of garlic, some lemon juice, and some fresh mint.
Dice your lamb into cubes a bit bigger than an inch square.

Chop mint and put in a large bowl with the paste, yoghourt and crushed garlic.

Add meat and marinate for a couple of hours, stirring when you remember to.

Finally skewer up, with onion, peppers courgettes or mushrooms to taste...



The finished kebabs, with red cabbage coleslaw and tomato and basil couscous.

I do hope I have made you all hungry again, even if it is late.

FOOTNOTE *** My wife's nocturnal slug hunting by torchlight led her to be called The Woman Who Gardens At Night. Very sultry and mysterious!

More Soon....

Statuesque

Hi! I'm Bernard, and on my right, The Phantom!!!

Why Cats Have 9 Lives - Parts 3 and 4

3. They Sunbathe On The Second Step Down:



4. They Do Impersonations Of Drunken Draught Excluders:

The More Things Change.....

A few days ago Gordon Ramsay proposed making it illegal to serve food that was out of season. The video can be found on the BBC.

I am a great fan of Mr Ramsay, but I think jailing chefs for serving frozen peas may be a little bit extreme....

By coincidence,I found this passage in a cookbook yesterday....

My object in writing this book....[is to emphasize]...two aspects of cookery which are increasingly disregarded: the suitability of certain foods to certain times of year, and the pleasure of eating vegetables, fruits, poultry, meat or fish which is in season, therefore at its best, most plentiful and cheapest.

The writer was Elizabeth David, the book Summer Cooking.

The book was first published 53 years ago, way before Gordon Ramsay was even born.

Some things never change in the world of food, it seems...

It's Barbie Time!

Like most men, I normally hate shopping. Like the SAS, it’s in and out as quickly as possible for me! (Note to Wife – Don’t you dare…)
There is one exception however. Food shopping.

To get the best from real food shopping, as opposed to Supermarket Shopping (which is best done using the SAS tactics above), one has to approach the task with love, and a healthy sense of curiosity.

Considerable amounts of video tape, ink, and hot air have been expended recently by foodies and chefs alike promoting seasonal eating. It has become one of the mantras of the switched-on, footprint-reducing kitchen trendy.

I am afraid the Phantom will never be totally at ease with the “no more than 30 food miles” brigade. I would love to buy nothing but locally produced food. But take my shopping yesterday as an example… I bought pita breads from Cyprus, Baked Yigantes beans from Greece (Palirria, by far the best brand) and parsley and coriander from Cyprus too.

It’s hot, it’s sunny. I made my own Hummus (with Italian chickpeas) and an aubergine puree with eggplants from Turkey. My chicken (for kebabs) was from Ireland. And guess what? It all tasted devine. And that is what counts for me. I don’t live on the Mediterranean, but when it’s hot and sunny, Greek and Turkish cuisine does the job for me. All I ask is that my ingredients are fresh and tasty, and I will check out three or four grocers for the best….

If I was to make a salad out of this weeks veg box, I would be eating spring cabbage and beetroot, with carrots and broccoli on the side. Good for a stir fry, but I want to be outside in weather like this…

Why Cats Have 9 Lives - Parts 1 and 2

1. They think "If I can't see them - they can't see me..."



2. They sit in your recycling bag - on collection day...

What We Did During Half Term, By The Phantom, Aged 47 and 1/3

The Spring weather led us to a picnic at Kew. Foodwise, the highlight was the homemade bread rolls stuffed with char siu pork and piccalilli, all home produced. (Photo's promised next time I make the char siu (barbecued) pork).

We lost ourselves in the green jungles of the Temperate House


























And enjoyed the Green Fugue of the Hemorocallis




















Later in the week we went to the RHS spring show in Vincent Square.

This English Elm bonsai is less than six inches tall, pot included.

























And back home Tigger did his impersonation of Ming the Merciless, quietly plotting world domination from the safety of our sofa...

Wombling Free.....

Our part of North London is well served by public transport. We have buses running past either end of our road, a tube station ten minutes away, and Camden Road railway station a five minute bus ride away.

Camden Road is still a bit of a secret. It helps that it isn't in Camden Town. It's not even very close to Camden Town.

The train line that runs through it runs from grotty Stratford in the east to the splendours of Richmond in the west. In just over half an hour we can get from the grime of Islington to the rolling acres of our second garden, Kew.

I guess the Olympic sites now under construction in Stratford will produced more passengers in a few years time, but for now, even at half-term, you can still find a seat without elbowing your way onto the carriage.

The London Mayor, Cuddly Ken Livingstone, has recently added this line to his ever expanding empire. It used to be run by Silverlink, but is now part of "London Overground" The changeover only happened a few weeks ago, but some things are changing already. The stations on the line have all had a lick of paint, and the benches on the platforms have all been replaced.

Not for the better. Most of the standard benches have been replaced with these monstrosities...



Don't try and lean back.

What's even more annoying are the arm rests. They are far too low to lean on, even if you can avoid toppling over backwards. They seem to be placed there purely to stop anyone from stretching out along the bench. If the stations have a problem with people kipping on the benches maybe they should employ a few more staff.



A design blogger by the name of Dan Lockton has deemed these manipulative design concepts "Architectures of Control"... His article on benches is worth a look.

One redeeming feature (about the only one) is that the benches incorporate the London Transport logo stylishly at the ends...




























Now if only Ken could turn his attentions to the Plastic Flowers in the station hanging baskets....

Silent Morning

I woke up early this morning. There was a stillness in the air, a pervading quietude.

I just knew it was snowing, without even needing to peek through the condensation on the window.

It was silent, and beautiful in our garden this morning...



An ornamental Chilli got Chilly...



Forsythia burned green and yellow through the snow...



The Daffodils bowed under the weight...



And Muscaria glowed...



I was up before any other humans. But I was not alone. Bernard was warm in our kitchen, Tigger was with me in the garden. Wondering, perhaps, where the funny fluffy cold stuff had come from...

Solitary Indulgence

Tonight my Good Lady is on a course. She will be out all evening, and I will be dining alone.

At times like this the temptation is to say "Sod It!" and either stop off in the ready meal section of your nearest supermarket, or reach for a tin of soup or beans from the cupboard.

However, I often indulge myself on nights like these, taking advantage of the chance to have liver or kidneys, pinky brown and eaten with too much mustard and bread to mop up the savoury juices.

Tonight I will make something I have been fancying quietly but would never make dining a deux, mussels with chilli, garlic and ginger.

The dish is simplicity itself:

Take Half a kilo or so of spanking fresh mussels, washed and picked over:

For the veg, chop a bunch of spring onions, an inch of ginger, two chillis and some garlic:

Quickly stir fry the veg in a wok in a tablespoonful of oil, cook for a minute or so, then add the mussels. Cook, stirring for a couple of minutes over a high heat. Add some water, white wine, fish stock, or cider, about two good glasses full. Cook, stirring every so often to move the open mussels to the top. Add a handful of beansprouts, and a sprinkling of sesame oil just to round out the oriental flavours:


Serve simply in a generous, heated bowl, with the deeply savoury juices mingling with the luscious mussels. If you have any booze left, enjoy a glass with your meal. As Saint Delia said, "One is Fun"!

Slowly But Surely

Since I bought the new scales and instantly gained half a stone, I have been actively trying to eat a little bit healthier and get some exercise.

Chinese style eating seems to suit me best, small amounts of meat, stir-fried with plenty of vegetables. Stir-fries always seem to pack plenty of flavour, and the mixture of textures from the softness of mushrooms to the crunch of water chestnuts satisfies the taste-buds.

I've actually lost ten pounds in the last few weeks, without really feeling that I am on a diet.

Our weekly veg box hasn't varied as much as my diet however, and potatoes and parsnips have started to mount up.

The potatoes I have tended to curry, making Aloo Ghobi with the excellent cauliflowers that have been arriving. The parsnips have had me puzzling though.

A few have been turned into soup, especially with globe artichokes or winter squashes. But I have been struggling to incorporate them into the light, oriental style dishes which have been our staple.

Yesterday, I finally worked out how to fit the parsnips in.

Honey-Glazed Parsnips with Lemon.

Peel the parsnips, core them, and cut into batons of finger width and length.
Steam for five or six minutes, until soft.
Heat a tiny amount of oil in a frying pan or wok, add the batons and allow to colour.
Toss them occasionally to colour lightly on all sides.
Add a couple of teaspoons of honey, toss to coat.
Grate over the zest of a fresh lemon, mix and serve.


Lemon-Glazed Parsnips, with Char Siu Pork Stir-Fry and Purple Sprouting Broccoli. Lovely.


Nine Out of Ten Cats Agree!

Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad.

After the shock of the weekend's sudden weight gain I decided I had better get back to doing some exercising. Bernard the visiting cat was in this morning, and joined me upstairs where I was doing my calisthenics.

I was doing some bicep curls when he arrived. He hopped up onto the press bench I have set up and sat there, just watching.

By the time I moved on to press-ups, he was lying on his back, wriggling on the bench. I swear he was laughing at me.

I had my revenge when he wriggled so much he fell off the bench.

He was not going to be outsmarted though.

I proceeded to do some sit-ups. I struggled, I must admit.

Bernard sat up, leant forward effortlessly, and started to lick his bottom.

Checkmate.

Weighty Matters

I have just discovered how to gain 10 pounds in weight in less than 24 hours.

Anyone who has met me knows that I am not exactly in need of help in the weight-gaining department.

So why is it, when you buy a new set of bathroom scales, you discover your old set were underweighing?

I would go off to Boot's and check on the scales there. But I don't think the Angel, Islington, is the best place to make a stand on naturism, and I don't know my weight with my clothes on.

Besides, the spare tyre I have gained in the last few months tells me the scales might just be right!

The Bear Facts

As correctly guessed by Amalee, this lorry from London Zoo was at Kew to collect fresh Bamboo to feed the Giant Pandas!

Kew and A

Shadowy People: The Phantom and his Lady, plus crocuses. Kew Gardens. Monday.



Feeling Griddy: Low spring sunshine turns a bench into an op-art abstract.



Irridescence: Who needs a partridge up a tree, when you can have a Peacock.



Why Were They Here? Answer tomorrow...

Edible Proof

Up early this morning. It's half-term this week. My good lady had her birthday on Monday, and most of this week has been very laid back and indulgent. Late nights, waking up late, leisurely steaming bowls of porridge for breakfast.

But this morning I was up early. The cats were let in, their ears freezing, pads icy as they each stood up and rubbed a goodmorning scenting cheek up to my outstretched hands.

I read some blogs, then took up a morning cuppa to the birthday girl. I needed to feel that I was going to do something constructive with the day. That something was baking bread.

By Midday the loaves were cooling, and Bernard had warmed up next to the oven. The mists were clearing, and I had edible proof of my morning's work.

Kitchen Tip

As you may have guessed, the kitchen is rather central to the Phantom's existence. Thanks to my Mum's generosity a few years back I am the proud owner of a steel and brass Lacanche cooker, the Cluny


(No relation to George, but just as good looking).


However, the stainless steel extractor hood does tend to get grubby looking very quickly. We have searched the stores over quite a few years now, trying out different stainless steel cleaners and polishers on the market. None ever worked really well and they all tend to be expensive.

A few months back we were giving the ceiling a scrub (Yup!) when we dripped some of the Sugar Soap solution onto the hood. Hey presto, the grease and grime just lifted off. It left Cillitt Bang behind in the starting blocks!

We still had the problem of keeping the hood polished and clean looking. Then I was given a tip by one of our college cleaners. Spray WD40 onto a cloth and just wipe down the steel with that. It works a treat, removes finger marks and leaves everything lustrous.



It doesn't take long to do, both items can be bought in any hardware shop, and they leave enough money in your pocket for a bottle of something afterwards.



Cheers!

Flipping Amazing

Like every year, Pancake Day fell on a Tuesday this year. That probably accounts for why I so rarely make pancakes on the traditional day.

Working and pancakes just don't mix. When you get home from work you want to eat dinner, plain and simple. Eat. Dinner.

In Phantom Towers, most of the time I cook, and if I've just got through the door, cooking the main course is just about my limit. Most years, therefore, my good lady misses out. This year she had a plan....

Our good friend Battey Moo has had a rough time of late, so my wife invited her round for a meal, on Tuesday. Cunning. I suspect she felt the social pressure of having another mouth to feed would ensure she got an evening of batter delights, lifted with the scent of citrus, and frosted with caster sugar like snow on a winter's morn.

I really didn't know what I was going to cook until I got to Mr Waite and Mr Rose's grocers. Knowing that Battey is allergic to nuts ruled out the pasta options on an evening when I felt like pesto. I had a look in the fish section and spotted some lovely looking cod, sustainably caught and the best thing to come out of Iceland since Benni, Bjorn, Agnetha, and ...... Um, ABBA.

Armed with my cod, I made haste to the Seven Sisters Road and bought a bunch each of basil, mint, dill and flat leaf parsley. Whizzed in the food processor with fresh but tiring bread and a sploosh of olive oil I soon had a herb crust to top the cod with. (I started this off in a frying pan, finishing it off in the oven and then flashing it under the grill to brown the crust. It's always worth having a metal-handled frying pan, both for this and Tarte Tatin.)

The cod was accompanied by boiled potatoes, fennel, braised and browned, and steamed sugar snap peas with garlic and oyster sauce. The meal was delicious, and afterwards I stretched out on the sofa next door to regather my strength for making the pancakes to come.

I stretched out, and Tigger hopped up next to me. We both stretched out.

You can guess what happened next....



Me Too!

They woke me up just as our Battey Moo was leaving.

Maybe pancakes for Sunday lunch instead?

ttttttgggggggggggggyyyyyyyyyyy

(You may find this difficult to believe but Tigger climbed up on my lap whilst I was writing the post above, then he stood with one paw on the keyboard and wrote his name? I know the letters are next to each other on the keyboard, but WEIRD. I think he wants his own blog....)