The Phantom has discovered an interesting news item in today’s Education Guardian... Apparently
“Schoolchildren have exploited loopholes in Britain's arms controls by importing torture equipment including thumb and wall cuff restraint devices and a Chinese "sting stick" - a metal bar covered with spikes.”
It is encouraging to see the onward march of progress. When I was a lad (admittedly many years ago) we had to make our own instruments of torture. We didn’t have restraint devices, just the headlock copied from the four o’clock Wrestling on World of Sport. Instead of “sting sticks” we had the subtle delights of the dreaded “Chinese Burn” **
Truly the school playgrounds of England must be exciting places at breaktime! The joy of playing tag armed with a Taser! The sense of security playing British Bulldog whilst wearing riot gear! And think of the excuses for getting off P.E. “Sorry, Johnny has lost the key to his wall cuff restraint device, he can’t come in today”.
Sadly, even in this, the English have lost their pre-eminence. According to the article the Oxfordshire schoolchildren “got quotes” but did not buy the weapons. Over in Ireland, in Portloaise, children
“succeeded in buying electric shock batons from Korea and leg irons from South Africa.”
Obviously those millions of Euros spent on developing an enterprise culture in Ireland have not been wasted.....
** (Which, when typed in Arial 12pt looks delightfully like “the dreaded Chinese Bum”, a horrifically evocative phrase.)**
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