Yes, I am back from my Christmas retreat. It is amazing what a diet of freshly-pressed wheatgrass and spring water does for the inner man. I was lucky to have made friends with the Native American in the Teepee next to ours. He plaited me a smaller belt (made from discarded dream-catcher twine) to keep my now far-too-large trousers up.
The days since I last posted have been dedicated to nurturing the Inner Phantom. Three hours a day in the lotus position contemplating the eternal questions such as “Why is Christopher Biggins?” and “What sex are Turkeys?” has honed my spiritual acuity whilst still leaving me time to practice my yoga, especially the Cleaning Dog position. (The first few days are the worst, until the tendons loosen enough to get both legs behind your neck at the same time.)
Only time will tell whether I will be able to keep my New Year resolutions of blogging at least every other day and always telling the truth.